As a 70-year-old victim of this malady, I was quite concerned with the constrictive tone of your report here.

However, as I continued to read, I was overcome by the cleverness of your humor and so I commend you for your attention to this matter.

As for all of my fellow male-carriers out there, I offer, as a septuagenarian, what encouragement can be found in this classic exhortation: Hang on!