Ballad of Brett ‘n Blasey
Listen to the Ballad of Brett and Blasey
Lindsey and Mitchey were getti’n kinda itchy
just to leave Judiciary hearings behind.
Chuck with his committee, workin’ toward a ditty
trying to get Brett’s nomination on time.
On committee fence Jeff Flake sat
’cause victims’ rantings knocked him flat.
Lindsey and Mitchey still a-pushin’ forward
in the Senate, you know where that’s at
and no one’s getting Tweet ‘xept Blasey Ford
Lindsey said to Grassley we need to go so fastly
just to push this nomination on through (let’s go fast)
But Flake said to Grassley, we just cant pass it
until we truly know what to do.
On committe fence Jeff Flake sat
’cause elevator tirades knocked him flat.
Lindsey and Mitchey still a pushin’ forward
in the Senate, you know where that’s at
and no one’s getting Tweet ‘xept Blasey Ford.
When Blasey was in high school, accosted by a drunk fool.
She said it was the nominee.
In Committee testifyin’, implied the nominee be lyin’
And stop his nomination immediately.
Cuz he was drunk’n crazy, back in the school days,
she said Brett had accosted in a drunken haze.
Lindsey and Mitchey still a pushin’ forward
in the Senate, you know where that’s at.
and no one’s getting Tweet ‘xept Blasey Ford.
Old schools, Senate rules, smart fools, America drools,
the escalating hype is so strong.
Tweet up, Face up, everything is hype up
to make trauma and drama prolong.
In a last-minute surprise
Jeff proposed a compromise
Lindsey and Mitchey still a pushin’ forward
in the Senate, you know where that’s at.
and no one’s getting Tweet ‘xept Blasey Ford.
Broke busted Blasey can’t be trusted
and Mitchey wants it to go to the Floor.
Diane cant take it; she says she’ll have to shake it
We knew she’d wanna shut that door.
Slidin’ on procedures and rules;
You know its lowball, but politics is old-school.
Blasey’s ‘criminations and sad accusations
cant go on indefinitely,
so Brett’s nomination was becoming a reality.
For more on the Kavanaugh hearings, five years ago, watch:
