Thank TSA no more 911s
How do you feel when you’re required to take your stuff and shove it?
Are you inconvenienced — maybe even offended — when you have to shove your carry-on luggage and your other stuff, the ever-present cellphone, maybe even your shoes and belt . . . through that hi-tech TSA tunnel at the airport?
But hey, think about it this way: No Worries!
That’s right. No worries. Because of our Transportation Safety Administration doing their jobs so dutifully every hour of every day in every airport of this nation, we don’t need to be concerned about:
Another 9/11 terrorist attack!
We don’t need to worry that maybe we’re traipsing aboard a replay of United 93; we know we’re not going to be wrestling terrorists with box-cutters at 30,000 feet over Pennsylvania.
We resent those zealous TSA attendants, but we ought to be giving them a standing ovation.
We have not had another 9/11!
Instead of frowning at those people, we should thank them every time we go through there.
No more 9/11s!
All of that TSA security that drags us into tedious searches on the way to fly the friendly skies — it works! We are effectively being protected by our people on the front lines of American safety.
And let us not forget when and why all this airport security was put into place by our government.
The TSA was established so that we would not have skyscrapers burning and crumbling in full sight while the nation and the world watch in horror.
An let us not forget a few other details about that entire post-9/11 security ramp-up that brought the TSA.
When the TSA was established, we did not yet understand where the Al qaida threat was coming from.
Later, when our intelligence people traced the hijackers back to their Arabian connections and their Afghanistan hideouts, we took measures to prevent those criminals from ever pulling such a deadly disastrous stunt again.
And it worked.
Furthermore, when we moved our troops into Afghanistan, shortly after 9/11, we tracked down the terrorists and put a stop to their destructive plans to destroy our American peace and security.
We even executed the ring leader, Osama bin laden.
The result is, we now have a safer America, a safer world, and our mission in Afghanistan has proven successful.
Now it’s time to get out of there.
Because the possibility of another 9/11 is next to 0, thanks to our guys and gals who tracked down the Al qaida criminals; thanks to our TSA people who work unceasingly around the clock to keep us safe as we fly the friendly skies. . .
Our friendly, protected skies.
No more 9/11s.
No more need to hunt down terrorists in Afghan hideouts!
No more need for American soldiers in Afghanistan.
Thanks to all the uniformed men and women who protect us in places all around this dangerous world.
TSA has got this thing now.
Thank you, TSA!